Why do people take vacation? Because they expect to find relaxation, adventure, or romance there.  Why do they expect this? Because it's worked before or seems to work for other people.  Why do students study before a test? Because they either want good grades or someone else (a parent, a future employer) expects or demands it. Why do so many people have low self esteem?  Because they've been led to believe that things are "wrong" with them, that someone thinks they're not good enough.

Back to low self esteem: where did it begin? Maybe when a class mate made fun of you.   Maybe when your parents didn't show their love for you enough.  Maybe when you convinced yourself that work or anything is too hard and you'll never succeed.

Self-fulfilling prophecy perpetuates our belief by "proving" we were right all along.  Like when you don't take care of yourself and ask someone on a date without much confidence. In reality, you could be sending a message like this: "Hi, you don't really want to go out with me and have a horrible night, do you?" Well it's your own fault when you fail.  It's not because you were worthless, it's because you believed you were worthless and so you communicated that to the world and the world was willing to take your word for it.

That's right, you can choose your own life. It takes some work, but gets easier and easier as you go along. It takes some work, but anyone can do it. Some of the most important ways to learn this include reading and watching inspirational shows, interacting with inspirational people, keeping a journal to increase your awareness of your thoughts and wishes, and taking good risks. 

Here are a few abstractions that will also help you along the way:

Your heart knows truth.  It's intuitive and can tell you things your brain may not understand for years after.  Learn to hear and understand it. Touch your chest over your heart to help you get in touch with it. Focus on your heart as you think and feel and let that awareness grow.

You'll also gain the additional benefit of increasing your ability to feel.   Sometimes you may experience pain, but don't let that scare you.  Go ahead and let yourself feel it all the way. Embrace it.  Let it blow right through you.   It's funny how it stops being pain then, almost.  Most of the pain really came from avoiding those feelings, from your unwillingness to feel and recognize and deal with them.

Your mind is busy thinking all day long.  Chances are you let it run free most of the day.  Ya know how unruly 3 year olds can get with no supervision? Well believe it or not, your mind can do a lot more damage than a bratty child.  Start doing two things: 1. watch your thoughts. Become aware of them. Once you've built this, step two is easier. 2. control your thoughts. Choose things to think about and stick with them for at least a few minutes at a time. Don't let your mind wander, get right back to it if it does. You can accomplish more in ten minutes of quality thinking than you often can in a day of chance and random thoughts.

To emphasize the importance of using your mind effectively: your mind is what interprets all your experience. It's what holds your beliefs about yourself and the world, your maps.  No matter what other tools you use, your maps must be revised in your mind. Your mind is what gives you power to choose your feelings, your reactions, and your destiny.

The mind is highly fallable, especially before you train it with lots of education and thinking exercise.  The heart is less fallible, but not always easily understood.   Besides, it's often plagued with opposing feelings--you may love someone and want the best for them while simultaneously resenting that they don't love you back the way you want them to. So where do you turn?

An excellent option is to God.  He knows everything you're thinking anyway, so why not turn your thoughts to Him?  Let yourself think as if He's right there with you in every thought, as if he's standing there and taking part of the ongoing conversation you keep running in your head day in and day out. If you're serious about this, you'll begin to feel His influence on your thoughts.  When you have a thought that's not quite true or right, you'll be made more aware of it and you'll have the chance to adjust.   Little by little or lot by lot, you'll wind up with a clearer and more joyful map of yourself and life and everyone and everything around you.

It's like with the LDS scripture where Christ says "Look unto me in every thought.   Doubt not, fear not."

Now it's true that there are more than enough differing ideas and opinions about God out there.  The fact is, no one has it exactly right.  How could we expect to understand Him when all we've really experienced are fellow mortals and their own weaknesses? Even if you consider yourself religious and that you have a pretty good handle on the truth about God, who couldn't use more faith? This largely comes from really experiencing His love, patience, mercy, power, wisdom, etc. So let yourself learn more!

Here's how it all works out best: keep all three of those steps going at the same time.   Focus on the heart, get to know it.  Let that shape your thoughts, and God, too. When you do this, you'll find it difficult to feel angry, discouraged, or other negative things.