"Be" Verbs

Here’s all you have to remember about be verbs:

"BE" IS FOR "BORING."

The idea of "being," of existence, is very abstract. It also describes a stationary state. Something that simply "is" is not necessarily doing anything. What you get, then, if you use lots of be verbs, is a stationary abstraction.

Sounds like a pretty picky point, doesn’t it? Sure, but when you read something with 25 be verbs on one page, you’ll become a believer. It’ll put you to sleep. If you get your paper back with drool marks all over your be verbs, you’ll know what happened. As a matter of fact, if you’ve got more than 7 be verbs or so on one page, you ought to try to trade a few in.

And what could you trade for be verbs? (Sort of reminds you of the guy who walked into the auto parts store and said, "Can I get a windshield wiper for my Yugo?" and the salesguy said, "Sounds like a fair trade to me.")

You can trade them for Action Verbs!! You may have to rearrange your sentence a little, but it usually works. One of the easiest ways to do it is to find a new subject (be verbs are often used for the passive voice, which means there is no subject—easy to write, but boring to read). It’s tough at first, too, but you get a knack for it after a while. Just be careful not to trade your be verb for another be verb somewhere else in your sentence.

Try trading verbs on these sentences. Double-check your revisions:

• It was January seventh.
• His father was in the doorway.
• It was her fear that kept her from picking up the phone.
• What’s your name?
• What his name is?
• Your love is like a sacred emotion.
• Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
• Open adoption is the best choice.

Some of you are now thinking, "Hey! You’ve got a lot of be verbs in your writing here." And it’s true. Sorry. At least I try to use lots of short sentences and concrete details here and there to keep you awake.

Verb Trades

• The calendar read January seventh.
• His father stood in the doorway.
• She stared at herself in the mirror. "Of all the days to get a zit, why did it have to happen today?" she shouted in a whisper at the image glaring back from the mirror. "Darn." Of course it would happen today—just two days before the big girl’s choice dance. Katie had waited till the last minute to ask Brian because, well, she had her reasons. But now, now that she also had a monster pimple on the tip of her nose, now she really had reasons not to pick up the phone and dial his number. Not that he’d turn her down—after all, he didn’t have a date, either. Not that she couldn’t hide most of the wound with a deep coat of base. She frowned again into her reflection. No, she wouldn’t call. And she knew why, too—simple, good, old fashioned fear.
• What do they call you (this is an example of somewhere you should keep the be verb—anything else sounds funny)?
• You’ve got bigger problems than be verbs, buddy.
• Just delete this sentence and start over.
• Letter B, letter B, letter B, letter B.
• Open adoption takes much of the mystery out of the process. Most parties find that it fills their needs better than closed adoption.