Ode to Butt-Heads: Enlightenment for the Smoker Aaron K. Johnstun Shaun Roundy, Eng 120 Warning, Surgeon General says: Salvation may lie within. Table of Contents 1. Smoking Facts (insight) 2. Death Gazette (insight) 3. Mississippi Burning II (contrast) 4. November (sensory details) 5. Tobacco Company Warning (show not tell) 6. Anonymous Letter (break the rules) 7. Out on the Range (dialogue) 8. Sunset to the End (metaphor) 9. The Banshee Waits (rhythm) 10. The Moment (pace) 11. Help Wanted (just for fun) 12. New Logo (just for fun) 13. Surgeon Generals Warning (just for fun) 14. Surgeon Generals Announcement (just for fun) November Gray winter clouds hung low in the air. Leaves had given up on life rolling across the fresh skiff of fallen snow. A damp cool breeze blew through my body as I stood up against a grey sooty building. The penetrating cold left me with little doubt that the warmth of summer had given way to lonely cold. Only the cold bleak months of winter lay ahead. Through the steam of an exhaled breath vaporized a silhouette trudging through the miserable half-snow and puddles of water. The distance between us closed with every footstep parting the slush with a gurgling splash. His long hair swirled at the command of the wind. The tattered denim jacket he wore offered little protection from the chill. He closed in on me like a torpedo locked on a target. My hollow legs felt numb with paralyzation as he closed the last few feet between us. Inside my head throbbed with possibilities of what the stranger might want. "Do you have a smoke" cut through his steamy breath. "No" I grunted back. "I don’t smoke" feeling embarrassed about my conspicuous morality. He stood for a moment the tension so thick I was sure he noticed the bulging veins in my forehead. Suddenly a faintly smell itched the inside of my nose-- cigarette smoke. He smelled it like a well trained bird-dog. A primal force pulled his body away from me towards the direction the smoke lingered from. Finished with me, he gave a final look of disgust and quickened his pace kicking snow back at me with contempt. My heart pounded with adrenaline. Forcing myself to look in the direction of his hasty advance I saw two strangers enjoying each others company. Two glowing red dots hanging from their mouths illuminated the waning light. Moments later they disintegrated into the bleak twilight
Surgeon Generals Warning: Smoking can be regressively addictive. Over a period of time a smokers lungs will become so choked with smoke that the patron has to suck harder with every cigarette. The same effect can be achieved by having someone hold you under water as you struggle for air. In time it will be impossible to experience fresh air. Prolonged use will cause the user in able to breath breaking them of the habit.
Anonymous letter Dear America: Some say that smoking is(,) addictive. Well I’ve personally smoked now for over fifty years(,) and I’m still not convinced that’s(,) true. For instance, I only smoke one package of cigarettes every half day. Some people might point to that as proof that I’m undoubtably addicted. How do those people that say I’m addicted know that I couldn’t very well quit the practice of smoking tomorrow. Other people say that smoking is hazardous to your health. Well now isn’t that an oxymoron. Doesn’t every one die sooner or later. How about driving, isn’t that just as dangerous? I might as well die doing something I enjoy. After all isn’t that what our country is all about; life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, maybe not.
Joe Camel and the Marlboro Man: Out on the Range, October 1997 "Hurry up old man the horses are stampeding. I swear by the time you get saddled they’ll be in Turkey." "Well if you didn’t stink sa bad they’d still be sleepin fine." "And what’s that pretty smellin stuff your wearin,(sniff, sniff) ala smokey sewer? Oh, and those wranglers they just make you’re butt look so cute. Ain’t you just the little, Mr. Universe pretty boy of this cattle drive." "Well I do have an image to maintain for the women fans." "If only they had a scratch and sniff on all those magazine adds, you’d be sellin hot dogs at minor league baseball games." "You’re one to talk jackass, you smell like two days worth of smokey camel dung." "I’ve had with your ego you can chase them cows on foot you over-rated hick." "Thats typical of a camel to get his little feelings hurt over nothin. Your as moody as my last girlfriend. I should’ve brought my horse."
Surgeon Generals Announcement: Smoking can help with weight lose! The long-term effects from smoking will cause a person to lose up 40% of normal body weight. Not only does it cause a loss of appetite but, smoking is known to cause emphysema. Smokers will become so troubled with breathing that food won’t matter anymore.
Tobacco Company Warning:(What they should tell you) Smoke from cigarettes creeps venomously down your throat and pollutes your lungs. After smothering your breathing organs with soot and tar it is obnoxiously exhaled for everyone else nearby to smell. Prolonged use will make your lungs look like the inside of a rusted muffler. As a supplement to smoking we recommend our customers suck on a filthy tail-pipe to achieve the same results.
languishing each puff fills the air,...floating,...mesmerizing, swirling in the air, satiating, satisfying the soul... warm and strong...addicted... an impulse of lost sovereignty, fleeing, pleading the ashes calmly burn with ease, altogether stopping to start again. (The Moment)
Sunset to the end Orange and yellow rays of light kiss the sky. Dancing playfully inviting all to chase them while following their piper, the setting sun. An October breeze--cool, crisp--blows carrying the smell of a seasons end. In tranced the beholder stares--addicted--visually devouring every trickle of color. Hypnotized by its promised beauty they watch greedily to satisfy a deep hunger of passion welling inside. Creeping from the East great clouds of blackness covering the euphoria. Without warning the light, beauty and pleasure snuffed out by obnoxious bleak emptiness. The sun leaving in its wake gloominess and broken promises. Laughing while listening to the cries of hollow souls. Souls full of pain and torment--crying for their piper.
Death Gazette October 14,1997 Kevorkian Forsakes Euthanasia for Smoking cigarettes. Dr, Jack Kevorkian recently abandoned his assisted suicide campaign for the rolling hills of North Carolina. Recently the Dr. purchased R.J. Reynolds tobacco company in a Multi-hundred billion dollar deal. When questioned about his decision the doctor commented, "I’ve begun a new chapter in this book of mine called death. I want to become more effective in what I love. Instead of helping people end their terminally ill lives I will now focus on helping them become terminally ill. The fact is, cigarettes contain over 4,000 lethal toxins and chemicals. I could never in my wildest dreams been that effective promoting euthanasia." According to a recent study Dr. Kevorkian does have a vision of the future. As of today 25% of adult Americans smoke cigarettes. In addition, 3,000 teenagers begin smoking everyday. In one years time that equates to over one million teenagers who will have begun smoking. Besides the benefit of the cliental the Dr. is most interested in the lucrative profits. Although he has converted to tobaccoism he emphasizes his strong commitment to death. "Now" he states "I can do both; have a great cliental and assist in the death process."
Mississippi Burning II An epic tale of the 90's era in Mississippi and the legal battles that were fought over smoking. This movie portrays the gap between smokers and non-smokers during this period in America’s history. You will enjoy the roller coaster of lawsuits that this story will take you on. A heart wrenching story of greed, fraud, addiction and tragedy and the healing bandages used to bring our country back together. Starring: Phillip Morris, R.J. Reynolds, U.S. Congress, U.S. Surgeon General and millions of extra’s both dead and working on it. Available at any drug store, vending machines and most ignorant merchants. This movie has been rated NC-18 and we will i.d.
Thank you for choosing the unique taste of Camel. For more than 80 years our unique blend of three premium tobacco’s and 4000 harmful addictive toxins has made our cigarettes the most lethal. Just puff on one and you’ll die for another.
Help Wanted: If you have teeth like these we need you. We are searching for three new Marlboro Men. Benefits will include a lifetime of free cigarettes. (In the last five years three Marlboro Men have kicked the bucket, Philip Morris now has three Marlboro Men on hand at all times.)
The Banshee waits Tick-Tock, tick-tock chimes the clock. Waiting, watching for life to stop. Inside zombies with gloomy glares, outside the door a banshee stares. The joy, the glory another harvested slave. With a quick slash his sickle falls in waves. No time to stop, hurrying along, his philosophy of freedom emancipates all wrong. His doctrine of death--subtle--under the rug. "Don’t think of tomorrow, enjoy your drugs." Waiting, watching he’s outside your door. Handing candy cigarettes at the local drug store. Your children--lookout--his favorite prize. No prejudice here they all can die. When the smoke is thick, black as hell, you’ll hear him laughing for whom tolls the bell.
Smoking Facts Smoking in America Percentage of American adults who smoke: 25.5% Men: 28.2% Women: 23.1% 1996 consumer spending on tobacco products: $46.6 billion Federal, state and local excise taxes collected from cigarettes in 1996: $13.1 Average number of Americans who die each day from smoking-related illnesses: 1,145 Health-care costs of smoking-related illnesses: $50 billion The Global Market World-wide sales of cigarettes in 1996: $295.8 billion Total number of cigarettes sold last year: 5,505 billion Average number of cigarettes sold per second: 174,562 Top five cigarettes markets in 1996, in billions of cigarettes: China: 1,791 U.S.: 488 Japan: 335 Russia: 180 Indonesia: 173 Highest annual spending on tobacco: Denmark: $407.80 U.S. annual per capita spending on tobacco products: 185.30 Smoking and Kids Percentage of U.S. high-school kids in 1995 who said they had smoked in the past month: 34.8% (27.5% in 1991) Number of kids who become ‘regular’ smokers each day: 3,000 Average age kids start smoking: 13 Number of U.S. children under age 18 today who are expected to die from smoking-related illnesses: 5 million Trying to Quit Percentage of smokers who say they want to quit: 70% Annual U.S. spending on products to help people quit smoking: $417.7 million Average weight gained when a smoker quits: Three to five pounds Other Tobacco Products Fastest-growing tobacco product in the U.S. in 1996: Cigars at +18% Value of Cuban cigars seized by U.S. customs in 1996: $1 million ($140,000 in 1994) |