Are Working Mothers Working?Annonymous Because of the societal norms of this area, there is a strong belief that a woman’s place is in the home with her children. Once under the surface of the issue; however, there is much more to be considered than just whether to stay home with your children or not. There are many variables of the issue pressing on the mother in today’s society. Economic, social, and emotional issues combine to make a mother’s choice whether to stay home with her children or work the hardest decision many women ever face. This paper will focus mainly on married women with husbands who work. Because of the tremendous impact that a mother’s choice to work has on her children, the issues of what drives women into the workforce, and the effects of working mothers on children will be discussed in depth. Robert Bellah put the dilemma best when he stated, "The pressures to make ends meet that have driven more Americans than ever into the work force, and into working longer hours as well, cannot help but be profoundly destructive to family life" (231). After considering all aspects of working mothers and their needs and also the effects that their working has on their children, the best solution seems to be to take a "middle ground". There is no uniform right or wrong answer for everyone. Many aspects need to be considered and each mother will have to make the best decision depending on her circumstances. There is much evidence, however, that suggests that there are negative impacts associated with children who’s mothers work. Unless economically impossible, a mother should stay in the home and nurture her children. When there is a true need for the mother to work, working inside of the home is an excellent alternative to working outside of the home. Also, part-time work instead of full-time work, when possible, would be a better choice. . What Drives Women to the Workforce There are many women who have no choice whether to work or not. Circumstances have made the decision for them (Cook 10). Most of the time these "circumstances" are of an economic nature, which affect divorced or single women, as well as married women. For divorced or single mothers there is no other option for survival other than to work. The real fact is that "in 1991 white single mothers headed 19.3% of white families, black single mothers headed 58% of black households, and 28.7% of Hispanic mothers headed Hispanic households" (Frankel 238). The evidence supports the fact that many women are in the workforce because they have no husbands to support their families. For many married women, the income from the husband alone is not enough to support the family, thus there is a need, not just a want, for the mother to work and ease some of the financial burdens of the family. Barbara Cook said it well when she stated, "In addition to social pressures, there are economic incentives for working, not raising babies. Many families can not feed those babies unless mothers work" (17). Many researchers believe that as the cost of living continues to rise, many more families will be forced to have both parents work. Some women who are entering the workforce are doing so because of the societal devaluation of motherhood. The message sent by much of society today is that "motherhood is sacred, but worthless" (Cook 17). In her book A Mother’s Choice: Whether to Work or Not While Raising a Family, Barbara Cook explains, "The work that is done in the home has no monetary value and little prestige in contemporary society. Therefore work in the ‘real world’ is seen as more glamorous, even though this may be far from the truth for many jobs" (17). A big factor of why many women who have children choose to work is for emotional reasons. Many derive a lot of their self identity from their work, others feel that working helps them have better control over their lives, and still other "women’s emotional needs are not fulfilled by mothering alone" (Interview Mansfield). Having a career has become a part of many women’s identities. Many work in order to boost their self-image. One woman claimed, "I derive a lot of my self-image from work. . .I need more than just an immediate home life to derive my self identity" (Hertz 136). Many women find that the best way to get positive attention and recognition is through their work. Their career is their source of self-esteem. Kathryn Rettig, Assistant Professor of Family and Social Science at the University of Minnesota writes: "It is difficult for homemakers to maintain self-esteem, despite high family productivity, in a society which highly values work which has more visible and lasting products. Career choices and decisions to move into the labour market are often justified because the homemaker believes it is a more ‘valuable’ use of time" (144). Control is another big factor that drives many women into the work force. One woman stated, "I just can’t imagine not working. But I can’t imagine my kids with someone else, either. Kids have become less important for me than they were three or four years ago. What is more important for me is to know that I can control my life and do that through working" (Hertz 132). Many women feel that control over their own lives comes through maintaining a steady full-time job. They have a tendency to believe that a way to get a handle on their lives is to work and participate in the labor force. Other women also have emotional needs that cannot or are not fulfilled by staying home and raising children. They yearn for more than just the interaction they receive from their young children in their home. Much of the emotional dissatisfaction with being a full-time mother has to do with the aspect of education. "The Institute for Social Research at University of Michigan has reported that satisfaction with life is linked to education. Education leads to higher expectations and higher expectations, if not realized, cause dissatisfaction" (Cook 86). Many women do not realize their expectations by being home with young children all day. They feel the need to interact and converse with other educated adults, and without that interaction, many women become emotionally frustrated. Effects of Working Mothers on Children Joyce Portner suggests that, "Daughters of working mothers tend to be more assertive, independent and active defenders of their rights. They are more likely to choose their mothers as models and as the person they most admire. The female role is seen as not being limited to homemaker. They more often become working mothers themselves" (1). It seems that daughters of working mothers have a less traditional outlook of marriage and sex roles. Boys, on the other hand, "tend to demonstrate the differences in social skills more dramatically with increased aggressive behavior, nonconformance to parental requirements and a greater likelihood of submitting to peer influence," according to Barbara Cook (103). There is also research evidence that suggests young boys of working mothers tend to have lower performance in grade school than others of the same age. They are also more defenseless against the negative effects of family stress (Cook 103). Many school aged children come home to empty houses or spend time with friends instead of going home to an empty house. One study done by Wellesley College Center for Research on Women in 1987, found that "in Los Angeles nearly one-quarter of seven-to-nine-year-olds were in self-care after school." Elementary school teachers attribute isolation and the lack of supervision to be major reasons children have difficulty in school (Frankel 249). It is common that many children left home alone consider it to be a negative experience. "According to one study, approximately 25 percent of latchkey children experienced problems coping with self-care: ‘Fear levels were high enough to cause hiding, sleeplessness and nightmares. Isolation was intense enough to cause depression or strong feelings of rejection.’" (Hewlett 54). From the facts above, one can clearly see that there is a need for parents to take an active role in helping their children develop and grow properly. Without a parent taking an active role in the development of their child, the door is left wide open for someone or something to take the parent’s place in teaching the child. Psychologist Louise Guerney, PhD, in a 1990 study, examined the activities in which young latchkey children participate. She found that television was the most common coping activity. Guerney stated, "Children's conversations reveal that they see TV as company--breaking silence and covering up scary house noises--and as providing support to supplement absent or temporarily inadequate other human contacts" (Freiberg 1). For many young children, television has taken the place of parents in the fact that TV is teaching children its values instead of the parents instilling values in their children. By parents leaving their children home alone, they are missing out on the most crucial and important teaching days they will ever have with their young children—days that can never be brought back once they are lost. Why not day care, you ask? Most recent evidence shows that day care is becoming better and better at helping the children to learn and grow. There can be positive and lasting differences made to a child’s development through day care. According to research, many children’s socialization skills develop quicker when in a day-care setting (Cook 104); however, this has positive and negative effects on children. Although there is evidence of positive effects in the day-care setting, with a child care staff average turnover rate of approximately 40% (Frankel 249), there is need for worry. Considering that children need stability in both their home life and also in their child care condition, the turnover rates are appalling. Evidence shows that children in day care work best in small groups with as few children as possible per adult (Frankel 249). Day care can never fully take the place of having a mother to nurture her child and create a relationship to last a lifetime. There is much evidence to suggest that day care has an adverse effect on infants and their attachment to their mothers. J. Belsky concluded through his studies in 1986 that "placing infants in child care settings for more than 20 hours per week, initiated in the first year of life, increases the risk of insecure infant-mother attachment" (Frankel 251). Dr. Burton White reaffirmed this fact when he concluded that a child’s early years are critical and "full-time substitute care for children under 3 is not in their best interest" (Cook 99). "Some middle-class parents strive so hard for financial or social success that they neglect their children. . ." (James 198). There is evident proof that delinquent acts are more apt to occur in children who lack closeness to mother or father ("Juvenile" Mansfield 14). "Parents encourage sexual promiscuity, use of narcotics or alcohol, and other problems by leaving children home alone. Interviews with youngsters in training schools across the country indicate that many got into trouble in their own or other children’s homes—often when the mother works" (James 200). Many studies go as far as to say that it is indeed "the closeness to the mother which regulates delinquent activity" ("Juvenile" Mansfield 14), also there is much evidence to support the fact that inadequate supervision often leads to delinquency. Conclusion In an article written by Ronald E. Williams, he addresses the question of, "If you could go back and raise your children over again what would be different?" to older parents of grown children. The answers were unanimous, "Recognizing the relatively short time a child is in the home, they would have put stress on teaching obedience, self control, personal responsibility, and character training. . .These same parents are often heard to say. . and we would have kept Mom at home" (Williams 1). Don’t look back in regret and wish that you had spent less time working and more time with your children. Mothers, if at all possible, heed the chance to be that positive role-model for your children. Be the one that teaches them the values and skills that will impact how the rest of their lives will go. Barbara Cook addresses the hard question at hand: "In the face of these various obstacles, what woman would choose to remain at home for an extended period of time? I suppose one who has fallen in love with her baby and is reluctant to be parted from him or her for much of the child’s waking hours. One who feels that imparting values can not be entrusted to a substitute caregiver, particularly a nonfamily member. One who does not want to hear second hand about first steps, and later on, how things went at school that day. And therein lies the big choice" (18). Children need to know that they are more important than their parent’s job. There was a story once told me about a mother who was busy working in her study one evening when her young son walked in. The woman remained busy typing at her computer screen seeming not to notice her son. Finally the boy spoke up and asked his mother what the big book was sitting open on her desk. Of course it was the woman’s planner. Without looking up from her computer screen, she hurriedly told her son that it was a book where she kept very important peoples names that she couldn’t forget. The son then asked, "Mommy, is my name in that book?" Show your children they mean more to you than your career or your job. Show your children you love them through time spent with them. Show your children you love them by teaching them important lessons and values on life. Show your children what they mean to you before your children are no longer children. "Mom, what have you gained even if you obtain nice clothes, an expensive car, beautiful house, material possessions, prestige, notoriety, and even authority, on the job while your children are strangers to you" (Williams 3). What better feeling than to truly know your children, and know you raised responsible, educated, hard working adults that will contribute positively to the world. Adults that will carry on the tradition of teaching their children good values and skills necessary to lead successful and fulfilling lives. What better way to gain a positive self-image of yourself than to know that your hand was in helping your children be the wonderful people that they are. |