University of Life Writing Center

By Anonymous

“Bahe!”
“Yes Sir!”
“You’re next.”
My heart beat steadily and loud like a drum. I turned and looked at the tower.
With my head back I thought I was going to tip over looking up. I could have sworn
the tower grew taller. A plane had to swerve to miss it. Not really, but it looked like
it. I walked up to Master Sergeant Fox, my instructor. He tied the rope harness onto
me. Tight, so tight that I could hardly breathe. We had been given a crash courts on
how to tie the harness on, but it was at 0630, too early to remember.
“You want it nice and tight,” he said with his thick southern accent, “Wouldn’t want
you to fall.” Master Sergeant was a laid back guy, did not speak much. When he did
speak it was to the point. Sergeant had sort of a squeak to his voice that is probably
why he didn’t speak much. He was my favorite instructor, had a buzz hair cut, clean
shaven and always smelt like after shave, and was wise in his years. Everything was
always a joke with him.
The thought of being up on the tower made my stomach start doing flips. As I
climbed the stairs they seemed like escalators going down preventing me from going
up. Right, left, right, oh God am I really doing this? My breathing started to quicken.
My hands started to sweat I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as I climbed.
My legs stared to shake and tingle. Four flights of stairs later I had made it to the
lower level of the Rappel Tower.
“Don’t make me go, sir!” Cadet Robins was ahead of me. She was hysterical,
crying, begging, and pleading. Robins dropped to her knees and started shaking. I
thought she was going to faint. Her face went pale, hands trembling, she could no
linger hold the rope, her arms went limp.
“You’re excused, get out of my sight!” Major Rollins yelled. His face was almost
188 The Art & Craft of Writing two shades of red from being so mad. His eye brows were in the shape of a v. He
lad lines in his forehead. I thought I saw a blood vein popping out a little on his
neck. Major Rollins was a tall, typical G.I. Joe Solider, buzz cut hair, highway patrol
mustache neatly trimmed. He disliked the idea that women were training with the
men. An ex-marine turned army, he loved to push a person to their breaking point.
The Major was a total opposite of Master Sergeant Fox, no real sense of humor.
“Bahe!” The sound in Major Rollins voice sent tingles down my spine.
“Cadet Bahe ready, sir!” I managed to muster. My throat was as dry as a hot
summer’s night. Major Rollins did one last check on my harness. Click, click, the
sound of the clip being tested. He pulled on the rope so that I was being rugged
left then right. I did not think the rope could get any tighter but he had found some
slack. I was finally fastened to the rope. I looked down at the rope, the very same
rope which would be my sole transportation down the tower. I was not going to be
as lucky as Robins was.
Slowly I edged towards the platform. The floor beneath my feet was getting
smaller and they must have put weights on my boots it was getting harder to walk,
You are not going to fall, you’ll be fine. I kept saying this to myself. Reassurance
was what I needed. Actually maybe an elevator, nope no such luck.
“Make your way to the edge and step out. Feet flat against the wall.”
Oh sure, sounds easy enough, I thought. With my back towards the edge I took
baby steps backwards. My left hand holding one part of the rope in front of my
stomach, my right hand holding the release tension of the rope on my back. Holding
tight to the rope, so tight I thought my fingers would go numb. I looked up to the
sky imaging myself lying safely on the grass. Making shapes out of the clouds. The
ground cradling my body like a mother would her child. Reality hit me like a tom of
bricks when I looked down.
Heights and I have never agreed with each other. I left it well enough alone. I
tried to put my foot over the edge, but I couldn’t move it. Glue, I thought, must have
stepped in some glue. No matter how hard I tried I could not lift my foot.
“Breathe, Bahe, breathe,” Major Rollins tried to get me focused. He was
surprisingly calm. He was now the normal color of pink, due to the sunburn he had
gotten the day before. The lines of anger he had before were now gone from his
forehead, he stood there with his hand out like he was going to pat me on the back.
I thought he would have continued to yell at me just as he did to Robins.
Finally, I got my foot over the edge, planted it firmly against the wall. This isn’t
so bad. I was wrong, as soon as I had the other foot over I slipped. Hitting the wall
with a big thud, I was hanging upside down. The only thing you could see from the
platform was my feet. Blood rushed to my head, I held on for dear life. My heat was
beating faster and louder, it took a minute or two to stop hyperventilating. There was
a thunderous sound coming from above, I could hear Major Rollins and Cadet Clah
laughing. Cadet Clah was laughing so hard that he was coughing and slapping his
knee.
I gathered my composure and stabilized myself. I swung my legs to the side.
With my feet now under my butt I slowly pushed out against the wall and pushed
out. Not I had both feet against the wall and was now sitting up right. Slowly
releasing some tension on the rope and I began to descend the correct way. At first
small releases, then as I started to assure myself that the more tension I released and the longer, the sooner I would get to the ground. My heart was racing, holding
my breathe most of the way down. I reached the bottom, my feet hit the ground.
Relief flooded over my body, my legs felt like Jell-O. I stood there wobbling, my
arms still holding the rope. As I was being unhooked I began to relax. My muscles
stopped being so tense. I thought I was going to collapse.
“Bahe, you looked like you had too much fun.” Master Sergeant Fox laughed.
“Yes sir, the best time of my life sir.” My voice was shaky and I was still in disbelief
that I had actually gone down the side of a building with only a rope. I had seen it
done before but I did not think I would have ever done it.
“Good, then make your way to Tower Two.” Master Sergeant said with a little pep
in his voice and a great big smile on his face.
What!? Was this really happing to me? Without another word I nodded and
made4 my way to the top of Tower Two. This time a little more confident, he I just
conquered my fear of heights, how bad could this one be? Well, Tower Two was six
flights of stairs up instead of four. When I reached the top, I got light-headed and
my heart was beating fast. My hands were so sweaty it was like a faucet had been
turned on and left on. So much for conquering that fear.